Have you ever felt like you need to change who you are for someone? Not just your hair color or the way you dress, but the core of what makes you uniquely you?
I have spent years battling myself. Wanting to just be me, and feeling the need to change every single thing about me to be more like someone else who was perceived to be better than I am. Someone prettier, thinner, quieter, more successful, smarter, things that I am not that I wanted to be because they are more valued than what I have to offer.
I don’t have a “real” job, I don’t have a husband or even a boyfriend, I
don’t date, I spend my time with teenagers, and I am loud, excited and
passionate about things. My laugh is obnoxious, I sing too loud, I am unashamed about my obsessions, I don't have a clean room or a clean car, I am not very fashionable, I want more tattoos, and I get along better with children than I do with adults and I don't understand why people make such a big deal about it!
I have been told all my life to be different. Don’t be
so loud, don’t care so much, get a real job, join a dating service (maybe a gym
wouldn’t hurt too), hang out with people
your own age, stand still when you worship, don’t be so opinionated about
things…. I have heard it all.
But the truth is God designed me to be passionate
about Him and about people that need Him. And I spent my life putting that
passion in other things because I didn’t realize that my personality was a good
thing. I have always been told I wasn’t good enough because I am too much of
everything. And now I see that God gave me too much so I could give it all
away. All of this extra is to be used to pour into people. My entire life I have
spent sad because I was missing the truth. I was trying to contain myself
instead of spending that passion where God intended it to be. Now, I know why
God put me where He did…THROUGH what He did…so I can be who I am today in a
place to direct eyes off of me and back onto Jesus. My purpose is to pour into the people around me and if I didn't have the passion and excitement that I do I would never survive! I love the life I get to lead because God is using me to lead others to Him.
What are you denying in yourself that is meant to be used for Him? You are enough just as you are...in fact, you were designed just exactly for the things God has for you. Don't allow anyone to shut you down. You are enough.
