Today after I led worship, someone I hadn't met before that has been attending our church for a few months told me that the way I worship, specifically the way I hold my microphone, is distracting and he thinks everyone should be uniform. He brought up Sesame Street's "Which one of these doesn't belong!" and told me that it was me. I tried to explain that I have been leading worship for over 10 years and that I hold the mic the way that I do because it is how I am comfortable since I can't have it in a mic stand. He then made a fuss about how he was going to get a mic stand for me every time I was going to sing from now on.
I walked away from that conversation (if you can call it a conversation...I feel like it was an attack. Maybe he didn't intend it to be an attack, but boy Satan sure used it to crush me today.) feeling like I will never set foot on stage again. I don't want to lead worship again. I am done. I am so saddened that time and time again I am judged for the way I look (READ: Tattoos and piercings) and how I worship when I sing that I just can't face getting on stage again.
But next week, I will show up. I will sing, just like I have over and over again. Because I am not there for that guy, or to impress anyone else. I am there to worship my God and lead others to the throne room of the King of kings. If he is so distracted by the way I hold a microphone, and it is such a big issue that my Pastoral staff asks me to step down, then I will leave willingly and humbly. But God has put in a place where I am called to sing, called to lead and called to worship.
Dee we are there to worship and make a joyful noise FOR the Lord not anyone else...I like the way you worship and sing because it always encourages me to just sing out to the Lord! If GOD wanted us to be uniform then we would all look, act and be the same! I think God knows what He is doing so just ignore the ones who haven't figured that out yet! love you!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteDeanna, I'm so sorry that this happened today. I so appreciate you and the giving way that you serve God at our church whether it's building relationships with our teens and being there to help them on their spiritual journey or faithfully serving on the worship team helping the rest of us prepare our hearts. I had so much fun this morning serving with you in Kids Connect! It is clear to me that working with kids and getting them excited about learning about Christ is also a talent that God has given you. I'm grateful that you willingly and enthusiastically shared this gift with us this morning. Some of us serve in a very visible way, and unfortunately, Satan does, at times, use others to try and discourage us and question whether we should be serving at all. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Let that be your focus as you serve. I look forward to seeing you back on stage next week where God has called you to be.
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