There is still a way back from this. All is not lost. You have not ruined your life, you have not lost your chance at forgiveness. There is hope for your pain to cease, there is joy to be felt again.
So often I talk with my teens and though they may never say it, they seem to believe that with one mistake, or one missed opportunity, they have condemned themselves. Instead of turning and running back to Jesus, we continue to live in sin and ignore the conviction and pull of the Holy Spirit to draw us back to Himself. We give up on Jesus so quickly because it's too hard, it's too painful to sacrifice our temporary pleasure for eternal rewards, and it's too difficult to deny ourselves what our flesh wants when everyone around us is living lives that so dishonor God and are encouraging us to do the same. But when we fall, when we fail, it's not an excuse to sin more, or walk away, or fall into despair. It's a chance to rely on grace and accept that God loves us despite our failure.
Simon Peter is one of my favorite examples of this. Jesus told him that he would fail. He told Peter in Luke 22 after Peter stated that he would forever follow and love Him that Peter would betray Him. He says in verses 31-32, "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." These verses have become two of my favorite in all the Bible because they have so much content that has strengthened me.
First, Satan directly is wanting to tempt Peter here, but notice that is says he asked. So it shows that Satan cannot do anything to Peter without God's permission. That's encouraging because let's be honest...if Satan had his way, I'm pretty sure we would all be trapped in some giant cosmic game of Saw having to cut our own limbs off just to escape only to fall into a pit of spikes and then have to crawl out through a tunnel of salt or something. It would not be pretty. But Satan has to ask for permission. This reinforces 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." I don't know about you, but this brings me great comfort when I think about trials and temptation...knowing that God has agreed to allow me to go through it, and that He will provide me a way out.
Secondly, Jesus prayed for Peter. How amazing is that? I mean, if I want anyone in my prayer circle praying for me that my faith doesn't fail...it's Jesus! Peter had the Son of God praying that his faith wouldn't fail. And I recognize that some might say that it DID fail because he denied Christ...don't worry, we'll get there.
Third, WHEN you turn back, strengthen your brothers. I love this. WHEN. Not if. Not maybe. Not if you get around to it. WHEN. Here's the thing. Jesus knew Peter would deny Him. Just a few verses later, Jesus told Peter, yes you WILL deny me three times. But. WHEN you turn back. He knew Peter would turn back.
So, here's why this is my favorite. What if Jesus hadn't prayed for Peter? What if He had never told Peter that He was praying, or that he would turn back?
Think about it this way: You are Peter, and for three years you gave up everything to follow this Man, and you KNOW He is God, and you watched Him get arrested and beaten, just like He told you He would. You've watched Him heal the sick, feed the hungry out of nothing, walk on freaking WATER. You KNOW He is God. And now, He tells you that you are going to deny Him? Fat Chance. But then, in the chaos of the arrest, in the crowded mass of people, you are terrified. You've seen what they've done to Him, the blood, the wounds, the pain, and you are alone in the square. All the other disciples are gone, and you just want to see Jesus. There is so much blood. The sight is overwhelming, the stench is unbearable, the people are violent, angry, and not satisfied with the beating He has already received. The blood spilled on the ground still isn't enough. They want more. Someone notices you. "HEY! YOU!" Angry, violent eyes turn to you, rough hands grab you. Your heart stops, and before your brain can process, your survival instinct takes over, not once, not twice, but three times. You scream, you plead, you deny. You turn away weeping, the crowd jeering at you, a sniveling man. You clearing can't be a follower of the Man bleeding in front of them. No follower of Jesus would behave like this. You sink to the ground and crawl to a corner.
STOP. Two scenarios. In one, you weep because you know you can never go back. You can never speak Jesus' name again. You should have stood up and died for Him. You manage to escape to your house where you hide for the next three days. You hear of Jesus' resurrection, but you can't bring yourself to see Him. Your joy is overshadowed by your guilt and shame. You live out the rest of your life in shame and hiding, condemning yourself for your mistake.
In the second, you fall to the ground and weep as you look up and see Jesus. Your mind flashes back to His words, just hours ago. WHEN you fail. I prayed for you, that your faith doesn't fail. Strengthen your brothers. You hang your head and as the tears fall, you feel a peace wash over you. You look up and Jesus is smiling at you. He nods, and you know you are forgiven. You stand on shaky legs and go back to find the other disciples. You wait out the days, anxious for His return.
Peter is the founder of the modern church. His faith in Jesus despite his colossal failure brought about a movement that saved millions. Do you get it now? Has it hit you yet? Your mistake, your failure, your sin...it's not the end of you. Don't let it be the end of you. Peter could have walked away from Jesus. In our world, he probably would have...but he knew Jesus was praying for him, and that he had a responsiblity to strengthen his brothers.
I challenge you to accept your failure, make it right, turn away from it, and run to Jesus. My prayer for you is that your faith won't fail, and that when you do turn back, that you will strengthen your brothers.
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