One hour.
60 minutes.
The clock will strike midnight. The calendar will flip from January 28th to January 29th, and I will officially be 25 years old.
One hour. That's all I have left of my 24th year of life. I will never be 24 again, I will never have this time back, I will never be able to say that I am in my early 20's again.
In one hour, I will be a quarter of a century. I will be closer to 30 than I am to 20. I will be classified as mid-20's. I will once again be the same age as my sister for a month (we are Irish twins...born within a year of each other--10 months, 3 weeks to be exact.)
In one hour, I will be 25--the age that Queen Elizabeth was when she took the throne of England. The age that Orson Welles coscripted, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane. Roger Bannister broke the four minute mile. Charlie Chaplin had appeared in 35 films.
Isn't that crazy? Just one hour. And I will be 25.
I haven't done anything nearly as impressive or noteworthy as the Queen, Welles, Bannister, or Chaplin (or any of the hundreds of other amazingly successful 25 year old's I could have talked about)...in fact, my life is below average in many cases. My job is unremarkable to a lot of people, even though I enjoy it. I am still living at home, even though most people would call me a loser-I am debt free, so really--it's worth it. I'm not married, so I'll probably wind up being a crazy cat lady at this point. And I spend most of my time reading, doing puzzles, painting, or watching movies--so I don't really have a social life outside of the teenagers in my youth group.
But even though all of those things are true of my life, I have to admit to you something. I have a suspicion that while turning 25 isn't going to change much about who I am or my position in life, it is going to be a year that will be exciting and full of new discovery about God and who He wants me to be and what He wants me to do with my life. I can't figure it all out in one hour, but maybe, just maybe, a year from now, I'll have a better idea of what God is going to do with me for the next 25 years.
One hour. What are you going to do with it?
Monday, January 28, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Ambiguous Forgiveness
There are some ideas in life that are very hard to define or describe. There are a few that are silly and make me laugh. For instance, I laugh when I think about how the boys I nanny for asked me this past summer when we were in their pool why girls had to shave their legs and boys didn't have to even though everyone has hair on their legs. Trying to explain to a nine- and seven- year old the concept of vanity and societal expectations was just a mess that I wound up having to defuse the situation by just surrendering and giving them popsicles. I had to give up trying to explain and use the old, "That's just the way it is, boys" and move on with our day.
Then there are much more substantial ideas in life that are fundamental to every person's life, every religion, every facet of society, and yet--I can't even begin to explain it or describe even a portion of what's involved in it. Things like heartache, happiness, finding purpose. What hurts one person doesn't matter to another, what makes someone happy is insane to someone else, and who can judge purpose? These ideas really bother me when I stop to think about them on the grand scheme of life, so I try not to do that very often. But one thing that it truly unavoidable, especially since I work in youth ministry and I am a follower of Jesus Christ, is the idea of forgiveness.
I am not going to lie--I googled it. I looked up forgiveness in Islam, Buddhism, Hindi, and even a 7 step guide on how to forgive. And in sticking with the not-lying thing...I still couldn't articulate a very good definition or explanation of what forgiveness truly means. Is it a feeling? An action? A state of mind? All three? How can I break down what it means to be forgiven? I know we've all heard the word before, we all understand that we need to be forgiven from the bad things we've done and we need to forgive the people in our lives that have hurt us, but it's such an ambiguous term isn't it?
If you are looking for me to suddenly have a neat little paragraph here that will shock and awe you with my knowledge of the idea of forgiveness and all your questions about forgiveness will go away never to return, I hate to break it to ya, but I am just not going to have that for you today. I am going to do my best to let you in on the inner workings of my mind when it comes to forgiveness, so maybe you can start understanding what the idea is all about.
Forgiveness is the act of releasing someone of blame for the mistakes, real or perceived, done to you by actively allowing your thoughts towards the person to no longer hold that blame against them. (Please note that this is my own personal definition of the word...) The only things I know about forgiveness come from Scripture, because when I've seen people "forgive" me or others in the real world it usually just means they are bitter and are still very much holding a grudge against the other person and the relationship is almost always completely severed. (for serious issues. Not for silly things. I've done silly things like drop 14 year olds' birthday cakes at camp and I've been forgiven...although I still haven't forgiven myself for that one....I am still sorry Lauren!!!) Severed relationships are not forgiveness. Forgiveness is so much more than a "Hey sorry dude." "Yeah whatever" with an ignored situation that is eventually forgotten. Forgiveness is mending relationships, having difficult conversations, it is weeping over hurt feelings and allowing those feelings to no longer control your thoughts. Here's some of what the Bible has to say about forgiveness:
If You, Lord, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
But with You there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve You.
But the one whom God raised from the dead [Jesus] did not see decay. Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through Him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses. --Acts 13:37-39
In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness. --Hebrews 9:22 [Jesus shed His blood so we could be forgiven]
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His Word is not in us. --1 John 1:8-10
I could go on and on...in fact, I didn't even post the many, many verses of Jesus preaching forgiveness and telling us to forgive one another so we may be forgiven. He talks about how forgiving little means we love little...so forgiveness and love go hand in hand. He talks about how God forgives us so much so how could we not forgive the little (or big. I'm not going to downplay that some of us have had some really awful things happen in our lives. There are people who have done horrible things and are not sorry about it, and forgiving them is the hardest part about following Christ...obeying even when it hurts) misdeeds done against us by the people around us? I want to leave you with this thought...the idea is so huge because forgiveness is not easy. It is not easy to let go of hurt and pain that others have caused us or that we have caused ourselves, but the Lord has commanded us over and over again to forgive others so the Father may forgive us...and when we look at the cross, how could we not? Who are we to deny others forgiveness when Jesus paid such a high price to grant us our own forgiveness? God holds no blame towards us once we repent from our sin and walk away from it. I know that seems crazy since we are SO quick to hold grudges, but His mercy is overwhelming. You were worth the cross. Accept His forgiveness and be willing to give yours out to the people in your life that need to have it.
Then there are much more substantial ideas in life that are fundamental to every person's life, every religion, every facet of society, and yet--I can't even begin to explain it or describe even a portion of what's involved in it. Things like heartache, happiness, finding purpose. What hurts one person doesn't matter to another, what makes someone happy is insane to someone else, and who can judge purpose? These ideas really bother me when I stop to think about them on the grand scheme of life, so I try not to do that very often. But one thing that it truly unavoidable, especially since I work in youth ministry and I am a follower of Jesus Christ, is the idea of forgiveness.
I am not going to lie--I googled it. I looked up forgiveness in Islam, Buddhism, Hindi, and even a 7 step guide on how to forgive. And in sticking with the not-lying thing...I still couldn't articulate a very good definition or explanation of what forgiveness truly means. Is it a feeling? An action? A state of mind? All three? How can I break down what it means to be forgiven? I know we've all heard the word before, we all understand that we need to be forgiven from the bad things we've done and we need to forgive the people in our lives that have hurt us, but it's such an ambiguous term isn't it?
If you are looking for me to suddenly have a neat little paragraph here that will shock and awe you with my knowledge of the idea of forgiveness and all your questions about forgiveness will go away never to return, I hate to break it to ya, but I am just not going to have that for you today. I am going to do my best to let you in on the inner workings of my mind when it comes to forgiveness, so maybe you can start understanding what the idea is all about.
Forgiveness is the act of releasing someone of blame for the mistakes, real or perceived, done to you by actively allowing your thoughts towards the person to no longer hold that blame against them. (Please note that this is my own personal definition of the word...) The only things I know about forgiveness come from Scripture, because when I've seen people "forgive" me or others in the real world it usually just means they are bitter and are still very much holding a grudge against the other person and the relationship is almost always completely severed. (for serious issues. Not for silly things. I've done silly things like drop 14 year olds' birthday cakes at camp and I've been forgiven...although I still haven't forgiven myself for that one....I am still sorry Lauren!!!) Severed relationships are not forgiveness. Forgiveness is so much more than a "Hey sorry dude." "Yeah whatever" with an ignored situation that is eventually forgotten. Forgiveness is mending relationships, having difficult conversations, it is weeping over hurt feelings and allowing those feelings to no longer control your thoughts. Here's some of what the Bible has to say about forgiveness:
If You, Lord, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
But with You there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve You.
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,
and in His Word I put my hope. --Psalm 130:3-5
and in His Word I put my hope. --Psalm 130:3-5
But the one whom God raised from the dead [Jesus] did not see decay. Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through Him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses. --Acts 13:37-39
In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness. --Hebrews 9:22 [Jesus shed His blood so we could be forgiven]
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His Word is not in us. --1 John 1:8-10
I could go on and on...in fact, I didn't even post the many, many verses of Jesus preaching forgiveness and telling us to forgive one another so we may be forgiven. He talks about how forgiving little means we love little...so forgiveness and love go hand in hand. He talks about how God forgives us so much so how could we not forgive the little (or big. I'm not going to downplay that some of us have had some really awful things happen in our lives. There are people who have done horrible things and are not sorry about it, and forgiving them is the hardest part about following Christ...obeying even when it hurts) misdeeds done against us by the people around us? I want to leave you with this thought...the idea is so huge because forgiveness is not easy. It is not easy to let go of hurt and pain that others have caused us or that we have caused ourselves, but the Lord has commanded us over and over again to forgive others so the Father may forgive us...and when we look at the cross, how could we not? Who are we to deny others forgiveness when Jesus paid such a high price to grant us our own forgiveness? God holds no blame towards us once we repent from our sin and walk away from it. I know that seems crazy since we are SO quick to hold grudges, but His mercy is overwhelming. You were worth the cross. Accept His forgiveness and be willing to give yours out to the people in your life that need to have it.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Let's stir up the pot shall we?
Why not start 2013 with a controversial topic? An uncomfortable one for most people for a multitude of reasons. Some people, because they struggle with it and feel shame, others because they are judgmental towards those who do struggle with it and heap condemnation onto them. Consider this as your warning to stop reading if you are going to be uncomfortable with the topic and would rather not be a part of the conversation. But again, as with my 12% post, I will be tactful, gracious, and honoring to God in the way I approach this delicate subject. Ready?
Pornography.
WHAT?! GASP!
Here we go. Let me first define what I mean when I am talking about Pornography. I mean the act of going on the Internet/watching a movie/looking at a magazine that is sexually explicit for the purpose of sexual gratification (read: masturbation). I know, these terms seem so brutal because the Church does an excellent job of NEVER talking about it and either pretending it doesn't exist or waiting until a person is caught or confesses to deal with it. And that's what I want to talk about.
If you are a parent reading this, I hate to break it to you, but your child has already been exposed to porn. Studies have shown that by the age of 11, most children have already seen it either at home or at someone a friend's house. That is unbelievably heartbreaking. Here are some statistics you can take a look at for yourself if you are wondering about the secular studies done in the past few years. Porn Statistics
I've read a number of books, both secular and Christian, about the effects of pornography on our culture, what it means for our teenagers, and what it means to the Church. I started to look into the subject when I was in college and I started to find out that there were a LOT of people who "struggled with porn." (That is to say that they are addicted to porn. Just like an addiction to alcohol or drugs, they can't stay away from it. But we say "struggled" instead of "addicted" for some reason...maybe that's our first problem? Hmm...) I didn't understand how something like pornography could be such a draw for these people who were otherwise amazing Christians, until I started understanding that there really is an addictive quality to the actual behavior. I've read a number of articles outlining the neurological processes involved and how your brain can truly become almost numbed.
But here's the real issue (and I'm now going to talk to you...yes you. The person reading this blog post who is struggling with porn. I know you keep finding yourself back in the same place over and over again, so I want you to listen very closely okay? It's going to get brutal, but it's going to get better. Deep breath.): dependence on porn is spitting in the face of God. There are so many levels of the behavior that breaks God's heart. He loves you so much and to watch you destroy your innocence the way you have has caused Him so much pain. "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." (1 Cor. 6: 18-20) You are meant for so much more than the temporary pleasures that porn can provide for you. Don't you see that God has designed you with passions and desires for something better than to be spent in front of a computer?
I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. -Job 31:1
Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. --Matthew 5:27-28
Pornography.
WHAT?! GASP!
Here we go. Let me first define what I mean when I am talking about Pornography. I mean the act of going on the Internet/watching a movie/looking at a magazine that is sexually explicit for the purpose of sexual gratification (read: masturbation). I know, these terms seem so brutal because the Church does an excellent job of NEVER talking about it and either pretending it doesn't exist or waiting until a person is caught or confesses to deal with it. And that's what I want to talk about.
If you are a parent reading this, I hate to break it to you, but your child has already been exposed to porn. Studies have shown that by the age of 11, most children have already seen it either at home or at someone a friend's house. That is unbelievably heartbreaking. Here are some statistics you can take a look at for yourself if you are wondering about the secular studies done in the past few years. Porn Statistics
I've read a number of books, both secular and Christian, about the effects of pornography on our culture, what it means for our teenagers, and what it means to the Church. I started to look into the subject when I was in college and I started to find out that there were a LOT of people who "struggled with porn." (That is to say that they are addicted to porn. Just like an addiction to alcohol or drugs, they can't stay away from it. But we say "struggled" instead of "addicted" for some reason...maybe that's our first problem? Hmm...) I didn't understand how something like pornography could be such a draw for these people who were otherwise amazing Christians, until I started understanding that there really is an addictive quality to the actual behavior. I've read a number of articles outlining the neurological processes involved and how your brain can truly become almost numbed.
But here's the real issue (and I'm now going to talk to you...yes you. The person reading this blog post who is struggling with porn. I know you keep finding yourself back in the same place over and over again, so I want you to listen very closely okay? It's going to get brutal, but it's going to get better. Deep breath.): dependence on porn is spitting in the face of God. There are so many levels of the behavior that breaks God's heart. He loves you so much and to watch you destroy your innocence the way you have has caused Him so much pain. "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." (1 Cor. 6: 18-20) You are meant for so much more than the temporary pleasures that porn can provide for you. Don't you see that God has designed you with passions and desires for something better than to be spent in front of a computer?
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified [Set Apart]: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit. (1 Thess 4: 3-8)You are worth waiting for. Let me say that again. YOU ARE WORTH WAITING FOR. I know you don't believe it, and I know it's easier to give into the desires you have now, but someday, you will have a husband/wife and I will tell you that this addiction won't go away once you are married...just like a drug addicts doesn't go away and an alcoholic's addiction doesn't, your addiction will still be a part of you. And then you will be hurting more than yourself, more than your God who loves you and died for you...you will be hurting your spouse. And pornography is never enough. It changes your behavior and attitude toward sex. Sex is something beautiful that God designed. We are created to have these passions and desires, but to pervert them with our lust and greed is something that YOU have to choose to stop in your own life.
I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. -Job 31:1
Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes.
For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread,
but another man’s wife preys on your very life
but another man’s wife preys on your very life
Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?
without his clothes being burned?
Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched? -Proverbs 6: 25-28
without his feet being scorched? -Proverbs 6: 25-28
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. --Matthew 5:27-28
Jesus is very clear. Looking at a woman lustfully is adultery. Pornography is adultery. That is clear. So you cannot keep living as if you are unaware of the severity of the sin you are in. But we serve a forgiving and loving God. One who redeems, who cleanses, who grants mercy when we fail. I am going to post more about this glorious forgiveness soon. For now, parents, don't be afraid to talk to your teens about sex and pornography. Teens, if you are currently struggling with pornography, it is not enough to just resolve to stop. You have to make a plan of action. XXXchurch is a great resource for more information on how to set up Internet filters, it has articles to read, information on how to end your addiction and how to talk to your parents about it. You know I'm always here for you too. The reward is great. It will just take some time to get there.
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